Being A Cashier...

I got told not to go into work today due to the snow. So instead i'm posting a really fun blog (in my opinion) that customers do while grocery shopping that annoy the piss out of cashiers.

1. "Are you open here?" Okay. Now. There's two uses for this very simple phrase that both really annoy cashiers. What shows that a cashier is open at a store? If you said the light above their register with the register number, you are correct. Obviously, people do not like to look at this light.
-Use number one of "are you open here?": Customer spies a cashier at a register where there are no other customers. The light of said register is not on. The aforementioned cashier is cleaning the register, and there are bags on the monitors. Just with me laying this out for you here; do you think the register is open? If you say no... once again, you are correct.

Why then, do people believe that we are open? Why must you ask? We will casually laugh, mention the number the registers that are open (with the light on!) and the customer will move on, usually pissed off because we didn't have enough courtesy to check them out right then and there with a register that doesn't have a drawer in it.

-Use number two: Okay, congratulations customer. You've done it. You've officially grabbed all of your groceries and successfully made it to the front end of the store for check out. You push your cart up to a lane with the light on, and there's a cashier standing there looking at you, but also looking quite bored. You mutter the magic phrase: "...Are you open here?"
What the cashier is really dying to say to you here is undoubtedly "No, douche. I'm standing here for my health. Just put your crap up on the belt, hand me your discount card and be on your way so I can go back to my extremely rewarding part-time job of being bored for the next 5 hours."
What we will say to you is something along these lines: "Uh-huh! *cheerful smile* How are you today? Do you have your *insert name here* Card today?"

2.) When the customer does not respond to your "Hi! How are you today?!", but instead tells you what kind of bag they want. My God. People... can you please just work with me here? We cashiers have this script kind of layed out for us:
"Hi! How are you today?"
"Do you have your Card today?"
"Would you like paper or plastic?"
Can you please, please, pleeease just answer me when I ask how you are today? I'll get to the bag part. I promise I will. I know you know that I really honestly do not care how you're feeling - I've never seen you outside of this location before and i'm completely apathetic to you to be honest... but it's common courtesy!

3.) When customers insist on not using dividers. They are there for a reason people. If you don't want me to put part of your order on my current customer's order I suggest you put up that divider.

4.)Cell phones. Please hang up your cell phone when you come through check out. Pantomiming everything I need to ask you is not part of my job discription... And also, I don't want to overhear your conversation. Once again, i'm apathetic about your life.

5.) Stereotypical old women who dump out their change purses on your register. Damn it, put the change in your pocket for now and move along. I have a line, and I can't start with them until you move. You are creating an extremely awkward moment while my next customer tries to hand me their discount card and I refuse it because you. haven't. moved!

6.) Grabbing the cashier's hand while we're trying to get things from you.Completely unnessesary, thank you for getting your disgusting jerms on me. I'm just trying to take your money. There does not need to be any hand-holding. This can be a completely contact-free transaction. I promise. 70% of the people who come through here do it all the time. So please, don't touch me. And don't get offended when I immeadiately sanatize my hands.

That's all I have for now. Thank you, for reading my first rant.

-Amy

Currently listening to: Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) - Bruce Springsteen